Where shall I begin? Hailing from Udaipur, Rajasthan, I come from a family of writers, poets, not as a profession but as a creative outlet of those who were professors, holding a master's degree, a Ph.D. in chemistry, Sanskrit; engineers, doctors, and so on. The family is elite, very well educated from top universities in the country, and respected. Mediocre like me doesn’t really fit in, in such backgrounds where one needs to prove their worth through academic scores. 

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I could manage to get a post graduate degree in computer science, but ended up being a website content writer in SEO field, and eventually self-expression. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to write computer codes. It was, I couldn’t convince employers enough that I knew how to. Having an intellectual mind is separate from how you carry yourself or represent. This shallow world encourages those who market themselves well, and whether or not they truly are what they show is an entirely different story. 

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Sometimes I feel I just don’t conform to this perfectly flawed society. The more I grow in age, the more I back off from chasing humanity. It just makes no sense in my world why people put on masks and pretend as someone else to the point of dissociation.

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Long ago, I withdrew from even trying to make friends with those who were genuinely good or convinced me that they were. Pushing them away has been my way of self-preservation despite the connection may have potential.

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When I left my job from a corporate organisation, I had to find an outlet to channelise my thoughts, else I would have reached to great lengths of madness. When the world seemed to reboot itself at the time of the COVID-19 pandemic, with no active job in hand, and alongside personal/health crises, my racing thoughts would have reached crazier routes if I hadn’t created a website with a blog section for myself. 

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There is no niche, no specific subject where someone would want to keep browsing and read stuff they can’t relate to, unless they’d like to really know me. That is possible only when I become influential enough to mark my stance in their psyche. In that case, my random topics might pique their interest. Until then? I keep expressing as if no one is reading. Because most people aren’t, anyway!